This Show is EVIL

At The Players Theatre is an evening of such disgusting horror that I am still retching bile onto the keys as I type.  It is an abomination.  Three people were taken out of the hall in the first fifteen minutes. You could not see the stage for blood and viscera and the stench of rotten flesh mixed with sulphuric acid is still burning my nose hairs off.  

This truly horrific evening was created by Todd Robbins

 and Teller of Penn  and Teller fame

In the electrifyingly gruesome 85 minutes which constitutes this real seance,  genuine evil spirits were incarnated to walk, fly, belch and spit on us, often in the dark.  Spiders, human skin, ectoplasm and even eye balls were thrown in our faces and the live blood of a decapitated rat was sprayed over us after having been killed, head bitten off, and bits of  entrails and fur were dropped on us.  One man was bludgeoned  before our very eyes and another  split open and his entrails spread on his shoulder like a victim of Jack the Ripper.  He went mad.

The following creatures from Hell were summoned from the grave.

Mina 'Marjery' Crandon who held lascivious spiritual sex sessions and exuded ectoplasm from her nether regions while fellating her male clients. She appeared from the bowels of purgatory, screaming hellish oaths and seduced a male audience member who had a heart attack and died in agony while we helplessly watched and prayed for our own souls.

The murderer of peaceful and loving Dorothy Rankin Bembridge  ...

that's  her on the steps of her Los Angeles home in happier times....  returned to gloat over his strangling of the pious lady and proceeded to garrot the five ushers during a particularly long and loud blackout while a host of the cacophonous ghouls of Beelzebub shrieked and flapped  amongst us, tearing our hair and giving us paper cuts with pages of the King James bible. 

Evil Eusapia Palladino who was able to convince grieving widows and widowers to part with all their savings.

She came back totally naked with a grey pudenda that scraped the floor.  The stink of her evil put holes in all our clothes.

Congo the Geek willingly came from beyond Styx to gorge himself on  8 one week old dalmation puppies, eyes still unopened

 Their yelps still ring in my unbelieving ears.

 And finally Albert Fish,  who over a period of fifteen years lured , tortured, cooked and ate over 40 children in Brooklyn. His spirit forced a young girl to stand on his grave and sucked her down to Hell. 

 Her mother ran up on stage and was carried down with her, gargling on her own blood.


This show must be closed immediately.  I intend to forward my psychoanalyst bill to the management. Sheldon is in permanent shock. He is sitting in the lounge rocking and moaning and occasionally calling for his mother.  He may have to return to Australia.